Category Archives: Dating

10 Things Confident People Don’t Do

Today’s material comes courtesy of Travis Bradberry who is the author of “Emotional Intelligence.”  I hope you enjoy the read and can utilize some of these tips as we head into 2017 to become a more confident person in every aspect of your life.

In The Empire Strikes Back, when Yoda is training Luke to be a Jedi, he demonstrates the power of the Force by raising an X-wing fighter from a swamp. Luke mutters, “I don’t believe it.” Yoda replies, “That is why you fail.”

As usual, Yoda was right—and science backs him up. Numerous studies have proved that confidence is the real key to success.

Studies exploring the performance gap between men and women in math and spatial skills have found that confidence plays a huge role. Women who were asked to identify their gender before taking a spatial skills test performed more poorly than those who weren’t. Women also performed better when they were told to envision themselves as men, and both genders performed better when they were told that their gender is better at the task.

What’s even more interesting is that the gender gap practically disappeared when participants were required to answer every question. Apparently, when the women were allowed to skip questions, they did so not because of a lack of knowledge, but because of a lack of confidence.

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” — Vincent Van Gogh

True confidence is very different from egotistical swagger. When people believe in themselves and their abilities without bravado, there are certain things they simply don’t do.

They don’t make excuses. If there’s one trait confident people have in spades, it’s self-efficacy—the belief that they can make things Image result for making excuseshappen. It’s about having an internal locus of control rather than an external one. That’s why you won’t hear confident people blaming traffic for making them late or an unf
air boss for their failure to get a promotion. Confident people don’t make excuses, because they believe they’re in control of their own lives.

They don’t quit. Confident people don’t give up the first time something Image result for Don't quitgoes wrong. They see both problems and failures as obstacles to overcome rather than impenetrable barriers to success. That doesn’t mean, however, that they keep trying the s
ame thing over and over. One of the first things confident people do when something goes wrong is to figure out why it went wrong and how they can prevent it the next time.

They don’t wait for permission to act. Confident people don’t need somebody to tell them what to do or when to do it. They don’t waste time asking themselves questions like “Can I?” or “Should I?” If they ask themselves anything, it’s “Why wouldn’tI?” Whether it’s running a meeting when the chairperson doesn’t show up or going the extra mile to solve a customer’s problem, it doesn’t even occur to them to wait for somebody else to take care of it. They see what needs to be done, and they do it.

They don’t seek attention. People are turned off by those who are desperate for attention. Confident people know that being yourself is much more effective than trying to prove that you’re important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what, or how many, people you know. Image result for Seek attentionConfident people always seem to bring the right attitude. Confident people are masters of attention diffusion. When they’re receiving attention for an accomplishment, they quickly shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help get them there. They don’t crave approval or praise because they draw their self-worth from within.

They don’t need constant praise. Have you ever been around somebody who constantly needs to hear how great he or she is? Confident people don’t do that. It goes back to that internal locus of control. They don’t think that their success is dependent on other people’s approval, and they understand that no matter how well they perform, there’s always going to be somebody out there offering nothing but criticism. Confident people also know that the kind of confidence that’s dependent on praise from other people isn’t really confidence at all; it’s narcissism.

They don’t put things off. Why do people procrastinate? Sometimes it’s simply because they’re lazy. A lot of times, though, it’s because they’re afraid—that is, afraid of change, failure, or maybe even success. Confident people don’t put things off. Because they believe in themselves and expect that their actions will lead them closer to their goals, they don’t sit around waiting for the right time or the perfect circumstances. They know that today is the only time that matters. If they think it’s not the right time, they make it the right time.

They don’t pass judgment. Confident people don’t pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they don’t need to take other Image result for Passing judgmentpeople down a notch in order to feel good about themselves. Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Confident people don’t waste time sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up to everyone they meet.

They don’t avoid conflict. Confident people don’t see conflict as something to be avoided at all costs; they see it as something to manage effectively. They don’t go along to get along, even when that means having uncomfortable conversations or making unpleasant decisions. They know that conflict is part of life and that they can’t avoid it without cheating themselves out of the good stuff, too.

They don’t let a lack of resources get in their way. Confident people don’t get thrown off course just because they don’t have the right title, the right staff, or the money to make things happen. Either they find a way to get what they need, or they figure out how to get by without it.

They don’t get too comfortable. Confident people understand that getting too comfortable is the mortal enemy of achieving their goals. That’s because they know that comfort leads to complacency, and complacency leads to stagnation. When they start feeling comfortable, they take that as a big red flag and start pushing their boundaries again so that they can continue to grow as both a person and a professional. They understand that a little discomfort is a good thing.

Bringing It All Together

Embracing the behaviors of confident people is a great way to increase your odds for success, which, in turn, will lead to more confidence. The science is clear; now you just have to decide to act on it.

Tell us if you agree or not!

Dating Advice 101 – Landing that Second Date

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We are foregoing the normal fashion blog today to discuss something almost as important: dating.

While getting a first date can at times be tricky, the real difficult part in dating women is locking in the second date.  If you need help getting a first date I highly recommend you watch the movie Hitch.  I know it is a romantic comedy but there are worse things you could be doing than watching a movie with my all-time celebrity crush Eva Mendes.

In the movie there are a lot of pointers for not only scoring a first date but getting to the second date.  If you fast forward to the 2:35 mark in the clip below you will find the key to getting a second date.

“It’s your job not to mess it up.”

We often can spend too much time on the first date doing many of the following: wondering if she likes you, is she having a good time, starting at her boobs/butt, not engaging in conversation or being too worried about what to say.  Like Will Smith says, “She is already out with you.  That means she said yes, when she could have said no. That means she made a plan, when she could have just blown you off.  It means it is no longer your job to make her like you.”

And by not messing it up, we mean putting in the work to ensure you get a second date.  As many of you know I am a happily married man which means I obviously had no problem getting a second date with Sharlay.  However, I know many of you are still going to be skeptical wondering if I really have enough experience to be believed.  First, all these come from my very own arsenal of romance and charm. Second, I dated A LOT of women in New York City.  Before I met Sharlay  I would have to say I dated at least 20 different women during the 5 years I was there before her and I met.  That may seem high to some and low to others but I can tell you it was the most women I have ever dated in my previous 31 years combined. I managed to get second and third dates with most of them so I am pretty confident I know what I am talking about.  I mean have you seen my wife?  No way should I have gotten a woman that beautiful!

 

 

Follow these steps and I promise you are well on your way.

Make a Plan Dummy

She wants to see you put in some effort to the date.  Prior to the date did she ever mention wanting to try a particular restaurant?  Or perhaps she said she had been dying to check out a new bar.  You Image result for Dating quotescan plan on meeting for drinks at said bar and if the night goes well head to that same restaurant for dinner.  Maybe she said she loves mini-golf (not likely I know) or perhaps bowling.  Have a back up option to do something like that after dinner.  If you are able to pull off something that shows you have been listening to her and paying attention she will be impressed I promise.

When Sharlay and I went on our first date I made plans with her to grab dinner.  I made no mention of doing anything afterwards. However, I had also made reservations for a karaoke place that was within walking distance from the restaurant.  The karaoke place was within walking distance to Grand Central Terminal which is where she would be headed after the date to go home.  I was charming enough (according to Sharlay) that I didn’t need the karaoke to seal the second date as she was already on our third date halfway through dinner.  I told you I was good.  It’s not false bravado.

You execute a good plan on a first date and I promise you she is going to say yes to a second date just to see what you can pull off. I cannot overstate how important this step is.

Reasonable Expectations

If you go into a date with reasonable expectations, I personally believe it will make it easier for you to be yourself on the date.  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look forward to the date, make a good plan for the date or hold back on the charm.  If you have too high of expectations for a date you can often put too much pressure on yourself.  You want to be loose and carefree on the date.  As Hitch says, “She may not want the whole truth but she does want the real you” so don’t set yourself up for failure.

This can be more challenging when you luck out and manage to score a date with a major hottie but the same rule applies.  I datedBrittney-Palmer-2016-calendar-Hawaiian-style-ali-fashion-0706-3 some truly beautiful women when I was in New York and I am not even sure how it happened most of the time. However, everyone of them turned out to be weird in one way or another.  One of them was super cold and not affectionate at all.  Another one hated going on dates in public and only want to come over to my place or me to hers (which wasn’t terrible if you know what I mean.)  One woman one was super possessive after only two dates and yet another one was such a terrible, awful kisser I just couldn’t take it any more.  The point is they all had their faults and I learned that just because a woman was hot didn’t mean she was going to have what it took for me to stay interested.

I met Sharlay on Match.com so I knew from her photos she was beyond gorgeous but for the most part I didn’t care.  Heading into the date I fully anticipated it would be just another evening with another beautiful woman who had nothing more to offer other than her looks.  Obviously I was wrong, but had I let her looks intimidate on the first date things might not have worked out so well.  As a matter of fact I was so uninterested in how she looked it really opened her eyes to the fact I was a different kind of man than she was used to dating.  It really impressed her that I didn’t fawn over her looks and didn’t get caught staring at her chest.

Curiosity May Have Killed the Cat But It Will Help  You Get…

You are meeting a person for the first time ever and while it probably isn’t the first time you have spoken to her, there should be enough mystery about her, you should have no shortage of questions to ask.  However, this isn’t an interview so don’t grill her to death.

As you guys talk you may find out she loves the same television show or movie as you.  You could ask her who her top three favorite or least favorite characters are in the show.  This is likely to either start a hot debate about the merits of the charters or an instant bonding moment whereby you agree that Janice from the Soprano’s might be the most annoying character of any television show ever created.  Boom. Now you have something in common.

Another easy conversation starter is to ask what was her favorite vacation destination.  Let her talk about it and then ask her “If I were to take a trip to [insert her answer here] what would be the top 3 things I needed to do or see?”  It will show that you already value her opinion and respect her which is never a bad thing.

If she is at all normal these kinds of curious questions will be asked of you in return and before you know it you have been talking non-stop with her throughout the date.  Being able to converse with her is going to win you a lot of brownie points and getting a second date isn’t the only thing you will be getting.

Steer Clear

First dates aren’t the time to be asking about her views on gun control, abortion, Donald Trump, same sex marriage, having kids or the crisis in the Middle East.  Those items (and plenty of others) are sure to derail any chance you have at a second date.

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You may get lucky and find out you agree on all of those issues but chances are you won’t and it likely will end up in a debate or argument that is just not conducive to a romantic evening.  No one wants to hear how smart you think you are.  Leave it at home.

Be a Man

There are a lot of men who are intimidated by being out with a beautiful woman.  Don’t let the fact she is beautiful change the man you are or your expectations of her on a date.  For instance, if you are out on your date and she keeps checking her phone you should call her out on it.  You need to do so in a a self assured way which includes remaining calm and being patient but you should definitely do it.

Before Sharlay and I even went on a date I had to do something similar.  She gave me her number almost right away (I didn’t even need to ask for it) so of course I called her a few days after I received it.  Long story short, she wasn’t so great about returning calls or texts.  Finally, I called one last time and got her voicemail. I left a message simply saying that if she was no longer interested in going on a date that was fine just let me know so I can stop wasting my time.  It may not have been that rude but that was the basic message.  Guess what?  She called me back!

She would later tell me that most guys would hang around forever and try to get her to call them or text them simply because they were so enamored with her beauty (i.e. they really wanted to hook up with her.)  So when I was rather quick to draw the line and call it quits she was surprised and also attracted to me simply because I was standing up for myself.

Throw Out “The Rules”

I hate all the so-called “rules” about when you should call a woman back after the first date.  Don’t listen to those boneheads who suggest you wait 3 days to call her.  Chances are she is a hot commodity (pun intended) so if you wait too long some other dude is going to swoop in and steal her from you.

Whenever you drop her off or part ways make sure you tell her you had a nice time, that she was a lot of fun and that you would like to take her out again.  If you get the appropriate response, ask her what day will work best for her and tell her you will call her in a day or two to finalize plans (and be sure you actually do.)

Now you just have to repeat these steps for date number three.

Until tomorrow, make it a better day!

What did we leave out?  Disagree?  Let’s hear it!

Tell us if you agree or not!

How to Score a Second Date

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Happy Hump Day Gentlemen!

I thought we would take a moment to discuss dating in today’s blog. While getting a first date can at times be tricky, the real difficult part in dating women is locking in the second date.  If you need help getting a first date I highly recommend you watch the movie Hitch.  I know it is a romantic comedy but there are worse things you could be doing than watching a movie with my all-time celebrity crush Eva Mendes.

In the movie there are a lot of pointers for not only scoring a first date but getting to the second date.  If you fast forward to the 2:35 mark in the clip below you will find the key to getting a second date.

“It’s your job not to mess it up.”

We often can spend too much time on the first date doing many of the following: wondering if she likes you, is she having a good time, starting at her boobs/butt, not engaging in conversation or being too worried about what to say.  Like Will Smith says, “She is already out with you.  That means she said yes, when she could have said no. That means she made a plan, when she could have just blown you off.  It means it is no longer your job to make her like you.”

And by not messing it up, we mean putting in the work to ensure you get a second date.  As many of you know I am a happily married man which means I obviously had no problem getting a second date with Sharlay.  However, I know many of you are still going to be skeptical wondering if I really have enough experience to be believed.  First, all these come from my very own arsenal of romance and charm. Second, I dated A LOT of women in New York City.  Before I met Sharlay  I would have to say I dated at least 20 different women during the 5 years I was there before her and I met.  That may seem high to some and low to others but I can tell you it was the most women I have ever dated in my previous 31 years combined. I managed to get second and third dates with most of them so I am pretty confident I know what I am talking about.  I mean have you seen my wife?  No way should I have gotten a woman that beautiful!

Follow these steps and I promise you are well on your way.

Make a Plan Dummy

She wants to see you put in some effort to the date.  Prior to the date did she ever mention wanting to try a particular restaurant?  Or perhaps she said she had been dying to check out a new bar.  You can plan on meeting for drinks at said bar and if the night goes well head to that same restaurant for dinner.  Maybe she said she loves mini-golf (not likely I know) or perhaps bowling.  Have a back up option to do something like that after dinner.  If you are able to pull off something that shows you have been listening to her and paying attention she will be impressed I promise.

When Sharlay and I went on our first date I made plans with her to grab dinner.  I made no mention of doing anything afterwards. However, I had also made reservations for a karaoke place that was within walking distance from the restaurant.  The karaoke place was within walking distance to Grand Central Terminal which is where she would be headed after the date to go home.  I was charming enough (according to Sharlay) that I didn’t need the karaoke to seal the second date as she was already on our third date halfway through dinner.  I told you I was good.  It’s not false bravado.

You execute a good plan on a first date and I promise you she is going to say yes to a second date just to see what you can pull off. I cannot overstate how important this step is.

Reasonable Expectations

If you go into a date with reasonable expectations, I personally believe it will make it easier for you to be yourself on the date.  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look forward to the date, make a good plan for the date or hold back on the charm.  If you have too high of expectations for a date you can often put too much pressure on yourself.  You want to be loose and carefree on the date.  As Hitch says, “She may not want the whole truth but she does want the real you” so don’t set yourself up for failure.

This can be more challenging when you luck out and manage to score a date with a major hottie but the same rule applies.  I datedBrittney-Palmer-2016-calendar-Hawaiian-style-ali-fashion-0706-3 some truly beautiful women when I was in New York and I am not even sure how it happened most of the time. However, everyone of them turned out to be weird in one way or another.  One of them was super cold and not affectionate at all.  Another one hated going on dates in public and only want to come over to my place or me to hers (which wasn’t terrible if you know what I mean.)  One woman one was super possessive after only two dates and yet another one was such a terrible, awful kisser I just couldn’t take it any more.  The point is they all had their faults and I learned that just because a woman was hot didn’t mean she was going to have what it took for me to stay interested.

I met Sharlay on Match.com so I knew from her photos she was beyond gorgeous but for the most part I didn’t care.  Heading into the date I fully anticipated it would be just another evening with another beautiful woman who had nothing more to offer other than her looks.  Obviously I was wrong, but had I let her looks intimidate on the first date things might not have worked out so well.  As a matter of fact I was so uninterested in how she looked it really opened her eyes to the fact I was a different kind of man than she was used to dating.  It really impressed her that I didn’t fawn over her looks and didn’t get caught staring at her chest.

Curiosity May Have Killed the Cat But It Will Help  You Get…

You are meeting a person for the first time ever and while it probably isn’t the first time you have spoken to her, there should be enough mystery about her, you should have no shortage of questions to ask.  However, this isn’t an interview so don’t grill her to death.

As you guys talk you may find out she loves the same television show or movie as you.  You could ask her who her top three favorite or least favorite characters are in the show.  This is likely to either start a hot debate about the merits of the charters or an instant bonding moment whereby you agree that Janice from the Soprano’s might be the most annoying character of any television show ever created.  Boom. Now you have something in common.

Another easy conversation starter is to ask what was her favorite vacation destination.  Let her talk about it and then ask her “If I were to take a trip to [insert her answer here] what would be the top 3 things I needed to do or see?”  It will show that you already value her opinion and respect her which is never a bad thing.

If she is at all normal these kinds of curious questions will be asked of you in return and before you know it you have been talking non-stop with her throughout the date.  Being able to converse with her is going to win you a lot of brownie points and getting a second date isn’t the only thing you will be getting.

Steer Clear

First dates aren’t the time to be asking about her views on gun control, abortion, Donald Trump, same sex marriage, having kids or the crisis in the Middle East.  Those items (and plenty of others) are sure to derail any chance you have at a second date.

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You may get lucky and find out you agree on all of those issues but chances are you won’t and it likely will end up in a debate or argument that is just not conducive to a romantic evening.  No one wants to hear how smart you think you are.  Leave it at home.

Be a Man

There are a lot of men who are intimidated by being out with a beautiful woman.  Don’t let the fact she is beautiful change the man you are or your expectations of her on a date.  For instance, if you are out on your date and she keeps checking her phone you should call her out on it.  You need to do so in a a self assured way which includes remaining calm and being patient but you should definitely do it.

Before Sharlay and I even went on a date I had to do something similar.  She gave me her number almost right away (I didn’t even need to ask for it) so of course I called her a few days after I received it.  Long story short, she wasn’t so great about returning calls or texts.  Finally, I called one last time and got her voicemail. I left a message simply saying that if she was no longer interested in going on a date that was fine just let me know so I can stop wasting my time.  It may not have been that rude but that was the basic message.  Guess what?  She called me back!

She would later tell me that most guys would hang around forever and try to get her to call them or text them simply because they were so enamored with her beauty (i.e. they really wanted to hook up with her.)  So when I was rather quick to draw the line and call it quits she was surprised and also attracted to me simply because I was standing up for myself.

Throw Out “The Rules”

I hate all the so-called “rules” about when you should call a woman back after the first date.  Don’t listen to those boneheads who suggest you wait 3 days to call her.  Chances are she is a hot commodity (pun intended) so if you wait too long some other dude is going to swoop in and steal her from you.

Whenever you drop her off or part ways make sure you tell her you had a nice time, that she was a lot of fun and that you would like to take her out again.  If you get the appropriate response, ask her what day will work best for her and tell her you will call her in a day or two to finalize plans (and be sure you actually do.)

Now you just have to repeat these steps for date number three.

Until tomorrow, make it a better day!

What did we leave out?  Disagree?  Let’s hear it!

Tell us if you agree or not!

 

 

Is She Cheating On You?

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Happy Monday Gentlemen!  Hope you had a great weekend!

Time to tackle a difficult topic.

I hope you have never had to worry or experience having your girlfriend/wife cheat on you.  Sadly, I cannot say the same thing (probably a good time to mention this has nothing to do with my wife.)  I have been in more than one relationship were this happened and despite it happening multiple times, it doesn’t ever get easier to deal with.

With the prevalent place that social media has taken in our lives it has become easier for both men and women to cheat.  Heck, at least one website out there is designed specifically for affairs (I am looking at you Ashley Madison.)  A recent study found that 19% of women admitted to cheating on their boyfriend or husband which is up almost 10% from a similar poll conducted in the 90’s.  Most of the time women cheat on their men because they feel under appreciated, taken for granted or sometimes as a way to get back against their cheating spouse or boyfriend.

Before we get into the meat of this blog I want to issue a warning. Some of you guys are psychotic  and always think your wife or girlfriend is cheating on you, thinking about cheating on you or trying to cheat on you.  Give it a rest dude.  When I hear some of the insane things you accuse your girl of it makes me want to beat your ass.  This is about paying attention to REAL keys that may be an indication she is cheating on you.  The fact she didn’t call you the very moment she a) left work; b) arrived to work; c) got home; d) hit the gym; e) left the gym; f) stopped for gas/groceries/chocolate (you get the idea) doesn’t qualify as a valid reason to go off and accuse her of cheating on you.  Take a breath and calm down you maniac.

Here are some real things to pay attention to (again this doesn’t mean she IS FOR SURE cheating on you, just something to be aware of.)

1. Details Are Lacking

Generally speaking, women are all about the details.  That is one of the reasons it drives her crazy when she asks how your day is and you say, “Good” without further explanation.  When exciting things are happening in her life, she is going to spill the beans in great detail.  If she takes a “work trip” but then doesn’t have much to say about how the trip went it likely didn’t involve much work.

If she says she is going out with her girlfriends but when she comes home doesn’t dish on all the gossip she heard detailsabout from her friends, then she is probably dishing out something else between the sheets.

By talking about the details it makes it more likely she will screw up and get caught in a lie or an inconsistency.  The more stuff she has to make up to cover her tracks the more likely she will make a mistake. Thus, the details of any trip, conference or girls night out that doesn’t come with a lot of stories etc should be warning sign.

When my wife comes home from a night of hanging out with the girls or seeing a friend for a few hours, I already know when she gets home I need to set aside at least an hour for the recap.  The minute she ever stops doing that will be a clear sign something bad is going on.

2. You Are No Longer Her Wing Man

If she is no longer coming to you first to discuss how Janice in accounting just DGAF or that she doesn’t understand how Billy can keep getting promoted when he doesn’t work a fraction as hard as she does, there may be a problem.

9770_9153400654She wants to have you in her corner to encourage her, listen to her and to share the intimate details of her life with.  When she stops doing that, it is a bad sign.  She is likely sharing that information with someone else and there is a good chance that person has a penis.

So many times affairs for women start because they find a guy who will take the time to listen to them, talk with them and provide insight into the things she is dealing with.  You may be thankful that she finally stopped talking so much but that is not a good thing bro. There is something much deeper at work and you better get your act together.

3. What Is Different About You?

When both men and women cheat, one thing that often changes is their appearance. [Editor’s Note: I have to be honest, this one is a bit vague and therefore shouldn’t be taken as an indication she is cheating if none of the other signs are there.]

However, if you have noticed that she has lost some weight, has stopped wearing sweatpants to run errands and now never leaves the house without putting on her entire face (i.e. makeup) there could be trouble.  It is especially important to notice if these changes are sudden and drastic.

4. Mind Blowing Sex

People assume that having an affair would mean less sex in the bedroom but that isn’t normally the case.  Because of this assumption the cheating spouse often will make a conscious effort to continue to have sex to cover up their indiscretions.

Instead, what you should be paying attention to is if she has started to experiment more in the bedroom.   Perhaps she is willing to try new positions she hasn’t been open to in the past or wants to role play when that has never really been her thing.  It is possible she is picking up those behaviors outside your bedroom and bringing them home with her.

5. Defensive Much?

A long time ago I was in a long distance relationship (not recommended) and I remember showing up at her apartment in Virginia and the minute I set foot in her apartment, I knew something was off.  There wasn’t any sign hanging up that she was cheating on me or anything but there was just something different and she also wasn’t behaving the way she usually would when seeing me after several weeks of not being together.  Now granted there had been signs leading up to this moment that she was cheating on me but now the air hung heavy with it.

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I tried to put it out of my mind and to enjoy the fact we were together again but I couldn’t shake it.  Eventually, I had to ask her if things were okay between us and if she was okay.  The firs time I asked she just waived me off like I was crazy.  However, when I asked again later that night when things still seemed off, she became super defensive and yelled at me.  It was very much out of character for her and I just knew something wasn’t right.  I obviously don’t have to tell you how that ended.

A quick word of warning.  If you ask her 18 times in one day if things are okay between the two of you, she may just lose her mind and punch you in the testicles.  Don’t worry bro, she isn’t cheating on you, you are just annoying and deserved a shot to the nuts.  Once you hit the third time of asking you probably need to leave it alone for a bit.  Clearly you aren’t getting anywhere so there is no point in being obnoxious about it.

The best way to avoid having her cheat on you is to be sure you are putting in the effort all the time, not just when you are first dating.  I can say that on one occasion my girlfriend cheated on me at least in part because I had gotten lazy with going on dates and being romantic.  Don’t let familiarity breed contempt.  Make sure you are always doing romantic things for her and making an effort to make her feel special.

I hope none of you have to deal with this but if so please know you aren’t alone and you will get through it.

What do you think?

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Fashion Friday – What to Wear on a Date

first-date

“The average man doesn’t care about fashion, which is why he will always be average.”

You only get one chance to make a first impression.  Thus, what you decide to wear on a first date (or any date for that matter) will say a lot about you.  It will say even more about what you think about your date.  If you decide to wear True Religion jeans and your favorite Super Bad t-shirt, it will indicate you have given up on life and have no interest in trying to impress that beautiful women on your arm.

Even if you are on a date with your wife you should want to look sharp so don’t blow it.  Many men can find dressing for a date (especially a first date) daunting.  Don’t be that kind of guy.  Get your shit together and look sharp.  We are here to help!

Here are two looks: one is based on a date that is dinner and drinks and the other is if you are doing something more active.  From these two looks you can create a lot of other looks for future dates.  Trust me if you are going to be looking this good, you will have more dates in your future.

Here is the first look:

What to wear on a first dinner date men

Dinner and Drinks

It doesn’t matter if it’s the first date, the third date, or the 100th date, if you’re going out for dinner and drinks, you should be wearing a sport coat. Our recommended pairing is with brown leather shoes, dark denim (or 5-pocket chinos), and a button-down shirt. Leave the tie at home—this a date, not a board meeting. If you want to add something extra, throw in a pocket square.

Here is the second look:

What to wear on a first date casual men

Something More Active

Whether you’re hitting a street fest, a concert, or jumping out of a plane, the more active your activity, the less formal the dress code. We’re typically partial to wearing brown leather shoes, but depending on the scenario, sneakers (tennis shoes are not sneakers) are a totally appropriate option. We’d recommend pairing them with stretch denim for ultimate comfort, and a button-down shirt.

That is it.  Being stylish is really simple, it only takes a little effort and thoughtfulness.  You will thank me in the long run if you make some efforts to dress sharp at all times, not just for dates.