Midway through a long and hot New York City summer I can no longer hold it in! It is time to address some serious grooming issues that we as men seem to have. If you are serious about finding a good looking woman to spend some quality time with then you have to ditch the teenager approach to grooming and start acting like the grown ass man you are. A beautiful woman has no desire to share their life or bed with a nasty, unkempt man, unless of course you have ALOT of money. Even then why would you want to embarass yourself by having all that money but looking like you woke up in a cave? Besides read below and you will find out a well groomed man earns more money than his poorly groomed peers!
Here are my top five tips when it comes to personal grooming.
1. Get a Real Hair Cut
Are you still going to the barber for a $10 cut? Do any of the following words appear in the name of the place that cuts your hair: great, cheap, super, clips, cuts, cost or cutters? JUST STOP! For the love of everything please stop! Nut up and go get your hair cut at a real salon or place specializing in cutting men’s hair (this does not mean a barber shop!)
I personally recommend The Art of Shaving. (Editor’s note: The Art of Shaving made me take their link down. Apparently they don’t like publicity.) Not only do they do a great job but the whole experience is designed for men. They also offer other services and products specific to men such as a straight razor shave. Yes you will pay more for the experience ($40 at my location in Manhattan) but they take great care of you (shampoo, conditioner, hot towel and eyebrow trim if needed) and you will look better too. Get your hair cut at those other places and there is no telling what you might look like when you leave.
Stop wearing the military cut from when you were 20 years old. You aren’t enlisted in the Army any more. Still rocking the mullet? No way you are getting laid on a regular basis unless you are paying for it. Think the faux mohawk is in style? What are you living under a rock? Is your hair down to your ass? What are you John the Baptist? C’mon men it is time to straighten up and fly right. Your wife/girlfriend/special friend will appreciate the upgrade trust me.
2. Stop With the Cheap Cologne Shower
Nothing is worse at the gym than the guy who steps out of the shower and then decides to create a cologne fog in the locker room. Well wait there is one thing worse: the guy who works out, doesn’t take a shower and decides to mask his funk in a cheap cologne whirl wind. If you can create a huge fog that creeps across the entire locker room than you probably are using cheap cologne and probably dream about being on reality T.V.
You KNOW the smell I am talking about. Despite the cleaver commercials, woman do not enjoy the smell of Axe body spray. Some may even argue it is not an improvement over your “natural” body odor. Drop the cheap shit and spend a little cash for some high quality body scent.
Here is the deal: cologne will actually smell differently (based on your body chemistry) once it is applied so be careful you don’t just buy something that smells good in the bottle. Spray a little on your wrist, rub it in and make sure that it works for you. If you don’t like how it smells then pick another until you find something you (or she) likes. A good quality cologne is going to set you back at least $70 but it is worth it. If you have ever seen a look in a woman’s eyes when she tells you how good you smell you know the price is worth that look alone, even forgetting what might come after.
If you are not sure if something smells good ask one of the store employees. If you let them know you want to buy something but that you insist on it being the right thing you won’t have to worry about them selling you something bad or giving you a dishonest assessment. My two current favorites are Hermes and Spice Bomb (It even looks like a grenade!)
Not sure where to buy cologne? Here is hint: no truck stops, gas stations or Wal-Marts. I recommend you walk into a Sephora near you and check out their huge selection. They can sample something for you for free once you find a good smell. This will allow you to test it out 2 or 3 times to decide if it works for you. If not, go back and do it again until you find something you like. It is a beautiful thing. Please just ditch the cheap stuff!
Additional Note: I hope you realize cologne is supposed to be applied to your body NOT your clothes. If you are spraying it on your clothes you are missing the purpose of cologne. It should be applied to your wrists (spray on one wrist and then rub wrists together) and/or placed behind your ears or right below your Adam’s Apple. The idea is that as your body heat rises and you sweat (even just a little) the scent will escape from skin pores. I am sure you can figure out why that might be helpful in certain situations with the ladies.
3. “Hey bro I can see your nipples!”
As many of you know our entire country went through a heat wave from hell several weeks ago. Seemed everywhere you looked people were literally catching on fire. During a heat wave such as this, one of the worst places to spend any time is in the subway. However, there is no excuse for losing your cool and walking around a city like you are a Neanderthal.
There is a reason why someone invented the undershirt or the A-Shirt (aka tank top/wife-beater etc.) One of these reasons is to protect your outer garment from sweat, sweat stains and the like. Two weeks ago I was waiting for the subway on the platform and this dude comes walking down the stairs dressed professionally so I assumed he was going to work. There was only one problem, his dress shirt was clinging to his skin as if someone had just dumped water on him.
He then proceeded to push his way on to the next train pressing his sweaty and disgusting body up against other people. Why someone didn’t punch him in the face and knock him back onto the platform to await the next train is a mystery. If this is you, you should never, ever under any circumstances be allowed out of the house.
You can avoid this fashion, grooming and personal hygiene disaster by simply wearing an undershirt. I always wear some kind of undershirt especially in the summer to avoid this very thing. As long as I am wearing a t-shirt I never have issues with sweat stains or the like during the summer. Even if all you have is a tank top or A-shirt at least wear something to absorb your sweat before it can seep through your shirt. I have no idea how this guy in the subway managed to get through his work day looking like that. Can you imagine going into a 10am meeting with someone like that?
4. Trim it
Ear, nose, eye, facial and pubic (yes pubic) hair should be getting some attention from you on a regular basis. If you are 21 you probably don’t have issues with the ear or nose hair…yet. However, your eye brows probably need attention. Don’t be like this dude on the left. Most of you I am sure are taking care of the facial hair (although I highly question many of the beards you all walk around with). However, you don’t want a cluster of trees growing out of your nose when you try to get some hot woman’s digits at the bar. Same is true for your ears. I am sure you own a mirror. Thus you should be able to see there is a problem so just take care of it. Less than 3 minutes a day keeps Big Foot away.
If you have purchased an electric razor set there is usually an attachment that is capable of trimming ear and nose hair. Otherwise you can pick up a small pair of body hair scissors just about anywhere they sell beauty products. I recommend getting them here.
You should also avoid the ultra manly “uni-brow” look that somehow goes unchecked in society. Tweeze those suckers. Wax ’em. Do something with them because great googly-moogly that is a terrible look to be sporting these days.
Finally, pubic hair. I am not going to bother listing the research here but you can Google many of the benefits to trimming your hedge. I am not recommending a complete shave of the nether regions. I always thought it weird that dudes preferred the pre-teen look. I know some women really dig it so it is up to you. The world is your oyster bro, be free if you want to. I simply recommend a little weekly maintenance to keep it fresh.
Let’s not forget your arm pit hair. If you suffer from excessive body odor and/or deal with over active sweat glands in the pits sometimes trimming that up will help reduce the smell and help keep the area drier. Botox is also something you can consider as apparently it helps to reduce BO and reduce the amount of sweat your glands produce. That is a more expensive option and not full proof.
5. Your Face is Your Only Real Asset – Take Care of It
I hate even admitting the truth of this statement. My wife has finally succeeded in convincing me the importance of a skin care routine for my face. For those of us who are slower than others this means more than just washing your face. This more than anything else on this list is going to cost you but you have to do what it takes to stay at the top of your game. You only get one face so you have to take care of it.
- Pre-shave oil, gel or lotion – check out Art of Shaving for products.
- High quality shaving cream – I personally love Burt’s Bees shaving creme but there are a ton of really great products out there. Barbosol is cheap…for a reason.
- Face Scrub – I recommend Joe’s Face Scrub which you can purchase here but there are plenty of great products. You can usually pick up good stuff from Ulta, Sephora and sometimes even Target.
- Face wash – no preference on this just make sure it works with your skin type and doesn’t dry out your face like a mummy.
- Moisturizer – I hate to admit to even using one but I do. I have had the most success with Lab Series. you can get it here.
First impressions are always key and since your face is the first thing a woman is going to see you need to be sure you are taking care of it. Don’t use being married as an excuse not to take care of yourself. Studies show that attractive people earn more money, have greater success in their job search and get promoted quicker and more often. As men we don’t like it when our wives or girlfriends “let themselves go” physically so why is it okay when we do the same? Suck it up and take care of yourself!
Until tomorrow, make it a better day!