“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22
Yesterday the wife and I went to the gym after work. I often find the gym a great place to observe exemplary male behavior (*eye roll*). Last night was no different. I won’t bore you with the details other than to say I had the chance to overhear two guys complaining about their wives and/or women. I couldn’t tell if they were married (no rings) but one guy sounded like he was married while the other one was likely not just based on the conversation.
Look I know we all have bad experiences with the opposite sex (I could tell you plenty) but here is the bottom line: finding a wife is indeed a good thing. Whether you are a believer in God and/or the Bible doesn’t matter. Getting married to a good woman will change your life in ways you cannot even begin to imagine. As men I think it is our attitude that needs the work, not our wives or girlfriends.
I will take just one moment to mention the importance of selecting the “right” woman. There are plenty of wrong fish in the sea (again I can speak from experience). We have to be careful to select a woman who is a “good faith woman.” That is a woman who generally cares about us and people as a whole. A woman who isn’t in a relationship for selfish gain but generally desires to be in a relationship that is positive and growing. I have often found the problem isn’t the woman we choose to date or marry but rather our selection process (or lack of one.) Too many of us select a woman strictly on her measurements, lack of material in her clothing choices or other similarly stupid criteria. That doesn’t mean you can’t have all of those things in your spouse but if that is your top priority you cannot complain when her personality is a disaster of epic proportions – charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting.
Your wife is there for YOUR benefit not hers. Sure she might want to have children with you but nowadays she doesn’t even need us for that! She has signed on with you because for better or worse she believes in the man that you are but more importantly the man you can become. She believes you have what it takes to be a leader of her family. Truth is we are all rough around the edges (some more than others) whenever we enter into a relationship. However, when you marry a good woman she is going to help smooth out those rough edges and make you a better man. At least if you allow her to.
Men, we need to understand that our wives only have our best interests in mind. If you find a good faith woman she will do you good and not harm all the days of your life. She will never stop looking out for you, your children or your family. She will help reign in your stupidity when necessary and encourage you to take risks when appropriate. She will support you and give you a source of strength you never thought imaginable. You will grow in respect among your peers and colleagues without even having to exert any effort to do so. Your wife will speak with wisdom and kindness and she will help to fill your home with joy, laughter and peace. And before you dismiss the previous sentence, have you ever come home from work to find a home not filled with those things? It is awful.
None of the above is to suggest you won’t have struggles or that you won’t have arguments. You cannot put two people with totally different characteristics into a house or apartment and not expect there to be sparks. Arguing is actually normal and healthy in a relationship. It is going to happen you just have to accept it and realize it is part of your life. As long as you don’t act like a knucklehead everything will work out.
If things are less than desirable in your marriage or relationship quit blaming her and ask yourself what is it that you are doing to add to the problem. You might not be 100% at fault but your contributions to the problems are the only thing you can actually change to make it better. I promise if you take responsibility for your actions your good faith woman will notice and if she needs to make similar corrections will do so. Your job is to love her. That is it. You do that (and don’t speak ill of her at the gym) you will have the best life imaginable.
Until tomorrow, make it a great day!